Good News!! / The Longest Post Ever

warning - super long post, but now you'll know why I haven't posted anything in a while.

So I'm starting this post on November 7th, but I won't be posting it until later as we're waiting till I'm further along to let everyone know. I just really wanted to be able to write down what I'm feeling and all of my experiences. So I'm just gonna keep adding to this post and then eventually post it, so it's probably going to get to be very long!!


Nov. 7th

So earlier this year when they had to take my IUD out before it ruptured the uterine wall, Dean and I were talking about what we should do since we now didn't have any birth control. Now anyone who has known me the last few years knows that after Alexandra was born I was done. Her pregnancy was HORRIBLE, as was Riley's. With both girls I have had placental abruptions and had been put on bed rest. Riley's started at 23 weeks when I woke up and thought my water had broken only to find out I was bleeding severely. They thought they were going to have to deliver her by c-section. Luckily the bleeding slowed down after I had a priesthood blessing and so they decided to just watch the baby and my bleeding and see how it went to give her time for her lungs to develop more. After spending a few weeks in the hospital they decided that the bleeding was little enough and old enough that I could go home as long as I was on extreme bed rest (seriously they were like only up to pee and shower and the showers better be less then 5 mins) and as long as I would come back if the bleeding got newer or worse. The bleeding pretty much stayed the same, but I had to keep going back in for them to stop my contractions every couple of weeks. Luckily she was only 2 weeks early and was a healthy baby except for a bit of jaundice. Because they didn't know what caused the abruption they couldn't tell me if it would happen again. So we decided to wait until Riley was big enough to take care of herself (mostly) and Dean was done with the Academy before we tried again. And this time it was even worse. My bleeding started at 16 weeks and they really figured I was going to miscarry the baby. My blood test for downs had also come back positive at the same time. But apparently if you're having bleeding/placental problems it throws that test off. So they let me spend the night in the hospital to monitor the baby (and because I didn't want to be at home if I did miscarry) and the next morning they did the HUGE ultrasound to see if she had downs. The ultrasound turned out to be great and there was nothing wrong with her at all, just the bleeding for me. So back to bed rest for me. Only this time the bleeding would get worse and also the contractions would get worse, so I spent a lot of time in the hospital. One trip was a little longer then a month. We also had to have Riley's 3rd birthday party in the hospital, which I hated! And towards the end I was in at least once a week for them to stop contractions. When I got to be 33 weeks along my doctor told me if I made it to 36 she was going to induce me so that we weren't risking me and the baby any longer then necessary. I made it to 35 weeks. When I went in, I again expected them to stop contractions, but the doctors who had been seeing me oh so frequently decided to do an ultrasound and see if she was over 5 lbs and if she was they were going to just let me go. So the ultrasound tech figured she was barely over 5 lbs by measurements, so not only did they let me go, they gave me pitocin and an epidural at the same time. At the end I all of the sudden went from a 6 to a 10 and Alexandra went into distress. So they ended up having to do a forceps delivery very quickly to get her out. The good news was I hardly had to push at all. She was born at 4:08 pm on 4-1-04 (yes she's an April Fools baby), I think her lucky number is 4! And to the doctors surprise (you could hear them gasp) she was 6lbs 12 oz. Luckily we had had the shots for her lungs early on, so she didn't have any problems other then extreme jaundice. She had to be under lights and in the nursery at all times except when being fed. And even then they were trying to push liquids so I had to nurse her every 3 hours and then pump in between so they could force feed her. So needless to say having to either nurse or pump every hour and a half, made me very sleep deprived!! When they finally decided that we could go home we had to have one of those suitcase lights come home with us and so she lived in a suitcase at home for almost a week. After a few months I developed severe post-partum depression. It was so bad I was ready to take out myself and both kids. They got me into therapy and onto medication which helped immensely!! I stopped the medication after a year, but am back on it again, and the difference it makes is huge!!

But anyway back to the story. So after both of these difficult pregnancies and the post-partum I was done. Not just maybe done, but DONE! I was all for Dean getting surgery but since I'd had an IUD put in we decided we could just wait. Well, after they pulled the IUD and we were discussing what we should do, I had gone to the temple. I'd decided to pray about what we should do. I was doing Inititories when I felt like I had been slapped upside the head. Seriously, I've never felt anything so strong before. And I knew that we were supposed to have another child. Now I've always been "skeptical" of those who were like we knew we were supposed to have another child, and here I am having to eat my own words. So being my skeptical self and also not really liking the answer I had been given. I decided that maybe I needed to try again. So I waited until I went through the temple again and prayed about it. Again, same answer. Only this time my heart has been softening to the idea of having another child, so now it just feels right. So Dean and I discuss it and we decide that if we are going to take this huge leap of faith that we are at least going to be smart about it. So we decide that we're going to try to make the due date toward the end of August, so that if I do get put on bed rest, the end of the pregnancy is in the summer when I'm not having to worry about getting Riley to school. So a little bit less stress in our lives (hopefully). Also when shift bid came up for next year (since he couldn't get a day shift - boooooo) he picked a swing shift so that he can be able to drive Riley to school everyday if needed. Then we only have 3 days that we would need help having her picked up from school. I'm also trying to be very smart this time. With both of the other pregnancies it wasn't until I was on bed rest that I stopped doing things. This time Dean is going with me grocery shopping so I don't have to push the cart or pick up heavy things. I'm also limiting my activities (no more working out - which saddens me, but I don't want to stress my body at all). No vacuuming (YEAH!!!) or super cleaning. And I'm trying to destress as much as I can. I'm also trying to push drinking as much water as I can (since that helps keep you from getting contractions sometimes). I've cut all caffeine since there was that study about caffeine and miscarriages. I told Dean while we were shopping that hopefully this will help and even if it only buys us 2 weeks, that's huge in baby time. This time I also have some really close friends who have told me that they will help me with anything and everything. I'm so grateful for them!! Before it was just my mom and Celeste. My Relief Society last time was great for bringing in meals, but I really didn't feel close to anyone, where this time I know there are many who will be willing to help, and I'm also willing to ask them for help because I trust them!

I am optimistic (but realistic as well) about this pregnancy. Every time I pray about it, I get this super calm feeling and I feel like every thing will be all right. But I'm too practical to think that it will be perfect so I'm doing everything I can to be prepared for the worst should it happen. I did have a priesthood blessing on Sunday and in it it talked about how I would use my knowledge from my previous pregnancy's in this one. And how I would know what to do. I'm hoping that means that by me being prepared and restricting activities now, that it will help. I think I'm probably almost 4 weeks along. My first doctor's appointment will be on December 1st. So I'll probably be posting this about that time. We want to make sure that everything is going ok before we tell everyone.

I'm feeling really good. I mean physically I feel really good. Even better than before I was pregnant. I already can't fit into my pants though....I'm using a hair elastic to close them. I'm not ready to go buy clothes yet. I only feel a little nauseous if I haven't eaten in a while, so I'm just snacking all day long and it seems to be holding it off. I have had one hormonal crying jag, which was actually kind of funny. Alexandra had spent the night at Grammy's house and I'd just dropped Riley off from school and was walking back to the car when I just had this "I miss Alexandra" moment. So I was crying on my way to the car. When I got home I called Dean and he said "Yeah that's not normal."


Nov. 12

Ok so the good "I feel great" feeling has passed. So far I haven't managed to puke, but today was a very close call. I woke up with one of my headaches - which my mom has told me are definitely migraines- and between the morning sickness and the nausea from the migraine, it was not a good thing. I took some Tylenol (yeah for no good drugs while you're pregnant) and then prayed I wouldn't hack it up before it could start working. I'm very grateful for my mom who was willing to wake up at 6:30 this morning to take Riley to school for me and also to take Alexandra so I could sleep this morning. It just has not been a good day. I need to eat to get rid of the morning sickness, but yet I have no desire to eat because of the migraine. Yeah, just a lovely day today. I'm also very sorry that I wasn't able to help Meredith today. I was supposed to watch her boys while they closed on their new house. Congratulations and I hope everything went great today!!!! (Although you won't see this message for a few more weeks, but you'll know I was thinking of you even when it hurt to think!)

So far the morning sickness hasn't been too horrible. I just can't seem to do anything or it starts up. If I sit on the couch eating all day, it's a pretty decent day, but if I try to clean, or get ready to go to Stake Conference the nausea starts up pretty bad. And while it's a great excuse to do nothing, I do happen to have a life and there are things that must get done. All I'm really hoping is that it is no where near as bad as it was with Riley's pregnancy. It got so bad with her that I had to go to the ER and have an IV and some medicine to stop the constant puking.


Nov. 14

So my "home-made" remedies for my morning sickness are grapefruit, craisins, and Cheetos (the puffy kind). So far if I munch on one of these 3 things all day long I can keep the nausea at bay. Dean always teases me when I drink cranberry juice that I'm going to turn into a sour person, so I told him yesterday that the baby is apparently a sour baby, since some of the only things I can eat that taste good are grapefruits and craisins. (I've been tempted to buy cranberry sauce and eat it from the can as well....but I'm trying to hold out till closer to Thanksgiving).

Along with the nausea I have apparently contracted a super power. I am able to smell anything and everything from yards away. This has not been a good super power. Yesterday I had to clean out the fridge because there was something in there that I could smell every time I opened the door. And it was not a good smell. I ate some lunch so the nausea was partly gone and then proceeded to smell EVERYTHING in the fridge. The bad smell ended up being a jar of garlic which is now in a sandwich bag inside another container. Hopefully that will be the end of that. I also ended up moving some frozen garlic bread to the chest freezer - yes I smelled everything in the freezer too. I have to say that with my new super power I have learned what lettuce, eggs, and tortillas smell like. A few of the things in the fridge that overwhelmed me because I was not expecting to be able to smell them - especially through the containers they were in.


Nov. 19th

Boy this week has not been a good one. I have had no energy or desire to do anything but keep from puking. It is even my week to teach Joy School, and it's been so hard. On Monday I thought to myself "If I had remembered how bad morning sickness is for me, I don't think I would have done this."

We were waiting till after my first doctor's appointment to tell the girls, but on Monday when I couldn't go to volunteer at the school, Riley started crying hysterically asking why I was so sick and was I dying? So needless to say, I told her why I have been so sick lately. She still had tons of questions, so we sat up in my bed after school and had a long talk. I let her ask me any questions she had and we talked about what had happened in my other pregnancies. She's more worried about me though than anything else. We talked about some of the general things that could go wrong with a pregnancy (that was what most of her questions were about.) We had a prayer together after she was done asking questions, and she told me that at first her stomach was pounding really fast, but during the prayer she started to calm down and felt better. I'm so glad that she was able to get that feeling as well. The power of prayer is amazing. Later that night when we had family prayer and we mentioned the baby. Alexandra was like "what baby?" So we told her that there was a baby in Mommy's tummy and that's why she hasn't been able to jump on me the last few weeks. She has been very excited and keeps telling me that she only wants a baby sister. Riley on the other hand is determined that Alexandra is all the sister she needs and wants a baby brother.

I started spotting last night though....it's not a lot and it's very old blood, but still it doesn't make me very happy. I'm still getting really calm feelings about this pregnancy when I pray, so last night I just came to the conclusion that it's all in Heavenly Fathers hands. There's not much more that I can do that I'm not already doing. I'm just going to keep praying and have faith in Him and whatever his plans are for me and this baby.


Nov. 25th

Well, I still feel crappy, but I think (crosses my fingers) that it might be starting to get a little better. I went and picked me up some Preggie Pops yesterday at the store to see if they help and I can't tell...I mean I feel better for a little while, but I don't know that sucking on a Jolly Rancher wouldn't have the same effect. But I really want to eat on Thanksgiving, so I thought I'd pretty much give anything a try.

I'm still eating tons of citrus stuff which still seems to be helping. In fact Dean told me the other day that he knows what's wrong with me, I'm not pregnant, I just have scurvy! It made me laugh so hard. So I have determined that it's actually the baby that has scurvy - cuz it's a pirate baby - AAARRGGHHH!!!

I haven't had any more spotting, so - knock on wood - maybe I'm ok! My appointment is next Monday and I am looking forward to it. To have confirmation that everything is going ok, and to just hear the little heartbeat will be amazing!

The girls have been doing good with the news. Riley is much better and isn't quite so doom and gloom now. Although now she is very obsessed with what the baby's name will be. She keeps asking me when we're going to decide. She has also been very good about helping me around the house now. She keeps asking me if I need anything and if she can do anything. I have a feeling she's going to be like a mini-mom to this baby.


Nov. 28th

I am very thankful that I was able to eat Thanksgiving dinner yesterday!!!! I'm not sure if I'm over the worst of the morning sickness (I'm hoping that I am) or if because I've been able to sleep in the last few days and take my time getting out of bed, that I'm feeling better. But the last 2 days I have felt so much better!

We had dinner at our house (since Dean worked) and my family came over during the day to help me cook. We had it almost all ready when Dean got home from work. It took me about 2 hours just to finish eating what was on my plate - and I didn't even have a full plate. I'd ate about half of it when I started to feel the nausea start up (morning sickness is so weird - you don't eat you feel sick, you eat too much you feel sicker....), but it was so good I didn't want to be done. So I just sat there and took little bites every couple of minutes, which worked out great! I also munched on goodies all day long. It seems to be if I munch on something about every 2 hours I can keep the nausea at a minimum. So for one of my 2 hour munch times - we had pie! It was awesome! Usually I'm so full that it's hard to eat pie after dinner and this time I got to enjoy the pie because I hadn't even eaten dinner yet! It's definitely the way to go.

I'm so grateful for so much this Thanksgiving, but most of all I am thankful for my family! They have been so awesome to me while I haven't felt well. Even yesterday my mom helped me with laundry and getting the girls to clean while the turkey was cooking. Dean has been incredible too. He has done so much the last few weeks to help me out. I feel so guilty when I see him vacuum, doing laundry or taking Riley to school because these are things I should be doing but can't. It really has just made my love for him grow. To see him willingly (and without being asked) do these things just because he knows I need them to be done but yet I can't do them....it's awesome.


Dec. 2nd

Yeah!!! I can finally post this! The doctors appointment yesterday went great! We got to have an ultrasound and see the little peanut and hear the heartbeat! If my scanner worked, I would scan the pics, but...oh well. The girls were funny. They were like "That's the baby? Where's it's arms and legs???" I'm still not sure if Alexandra believes me that it's really a picture of the baby.

Well, I am officially classified as a high-risk patient. As we were going over my history with the nurse you could see her looking at me like "and you planned on doing this again??" So when they did the ultrasound she specifically looked to see if she could see any bleeding or any pockets of fluid that shouldn't be there and she couldn't see anything. So looking good! We'll just keep praying that it will stay that way. By ultrasound measurements I'm due on July 9th, but by last period dates I'm due on July 13th. So sometime in July...I'm thinking since I already have an April Fool's baby, I need a 4th of July baby! Although with my luck (and past history) this will probably be a June baby. Mom told us yesterday that she thought June 22nd would be a good day...Happy Birthday Grandma - here's you a new grandkid! That's a birthday present you just can't top!

I'm actually feeling semi-decent today. So hopefully I'm on the upside of the morning sickness.